Ok. So you've thought about your actions before you're committed to a road you can't return from. And you've decided "maybe I don't want to say that" or "maybe things are not going to turn out so hot if I do say that" or "that might actually hurt someones feelings if I do that". So what do you do next? (And remember, you're thinking on your feet here.) You put some more thought into it and you come up with an alternative.
Always keep in mind that your message can be delivered in many different ways. A good friend once taught me "you can say anything you want to say; its all in how you say it!" (Thanks, Angele!!) Now... Also remember that a message can be delivered in many different ways, as well. You communicate with spoken and unspoken methods. Body language sometimes says just as much as any one word out of your mouth. If you're going to roll those eyes or tilt those hips or cross your arms or even a combination of any of these, you're going to send just as much of a negative message as you are when you speak with a harsh or sarcastic tone.
Your chosen words are very important here. To use a very simple example, most of us teach our children to say "Yes, Ma'am / Yes, Sir" and "No, Ma'am / No, Sir" for a reason. Its so much more respectful and easily accepted as a response. So let's think about that same premise in our every day adult lives. You have to tell a coworker that you simply are bogged down with your own work and cannot help him/her do his work to meet that timeline. Its a difficult conversation to have. You don't want to say no because you want to help, but deep down inside you're a little peeved that he/she would even ask because ANYONE can see you're busy too, right? How do you respond? You COULD say, "Jack, dude, you're going to have to do your own work" or "Susie, I don't have time for you. I've got too much to do". Both of those are pretty blunt (but honest) approaches. Are they easily digestible and will they be easily accepted by your coworkers? Will you still have an amicable working relationship (or even friendship) when you're done? Probably not. Instead, you COULD say, "Jack, I apologize, I've got more on my plate than I realized. I can't really stop what I'm doing. Maybe we can work out a compromise and split up our tasks and work together by priority" (meaning you help me and I'll help you) OR "Susie, I'm sorry. It turns out my workload has shifted priorities and I really don't have time to spare. Maybe if you could ask Jane to help you this time, I'll pitch in next go-round". Same message... just thought through and delivered a little differently. And I can guarantee you it would be received in a completely different light.
Next blog, we'll talk more about actions and not just words. AND eventually in future chapters we're going to apply common sense to planning and organizing...because we ALL know when you're the one in charge of making a decision, no matter how large or small, your abilities to think things through and apply common sense affect others just as much as they affect you!! Keep coming back for more.... we're going to write a book here before it's over. :)
As always, Remember......"The road of life can take you many places. It's how you navigate that determines where you end up."
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